


Home

by Teland



Series: Other Paths [7]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: 1998, Let's Go Back To Talking About My Exes, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1998-09-17
Updated: 1998-09-17
Packaged: 2020-11-27 13:02:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20948777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teland/pseuds/Teland
Summary: A little honesty.





	Home

Alex Krycek was spending too much time in the 'net cafe,   
and, as always, the stillness was making that spot just   
between his shoulder blades itch. He had the distinct   
sense that he was being watched, but, as that was a   
familiar sensation, he didn't let it worry him overmuch.   
There were other concerns. Like just how to respond to   
Walter's latest e-mail:

"I miss your:  
a) cock  
b) smile  
c) face  
d) ass  
e) sunny disposition.

"Come home. Now."

The man had poetry in his soul. Somewhere.

"Walter,

Was that a love letter or a multiple choice test? I'll be   
home as soon as I can. Promise."

The concept of home made him feel oddly languid -- a   
terrifyingly unfamiliar sensation that said "Move. Now."   
more effectively than most average gunmen. But his lips   
were twitching in anticipation, and the combination was   
exhilarating. Another chime.

"Smart-ass. I was supposed to have a meeting ten minutes   
ago, which was canceled. Eight minutes ago. I wanted to   
make sure you were clear on the salient points. Just so you   
don't forget: Come home. I'll be there after 7 p.m."

Alex smiled at the image of exasperation his mind pulled up   
for Walter. There were few things better than raising the   
man's blood pressure; the knowledge that the transgression   
was both allowed and encouraged. And Walter had never   
failed to make the inevitable revenge entertaining.

"I'll be there. Signing off."

He resisted the urge to see if Walter would send something   
else. It wasn't really the older man's style, and the itch   
between his shoulder blades was starting to grow   
maddening. Time to go.

Out the door and, by chance, a glint of sunlight off the   
cafe's plate glass window made him turn. A reflection of   
trench-coated length and terribly familiar chestnut hair.   
Alex narrowed his eyes and walked on. Slower than he   
wanted, but this had to be taken care of. He'd only scoped   
out the area for three square blocks and he needed Mulder   
to catch up quickly. 

Two blocks. He traced Mulder's progress by the windshields   
of parked cars. A random breeze and Alex thought he could   
smell him. He paced himself off and made a quick turn into   
an alley. Alex figured he'd moved quickly enough to make   
Mulder hesitate a bit, and he used that time to get ready.   
As expected, Mulder came in low and quiet, and got a   
short, sharp blow to the back of the head for his trouble.   
Just enough to stun.

Alex hauled him up and slammed him against the wall.   
Pressed an arm against the elegant throat. He knew Mulder   
wouldn't pay any attention to a gun, at this point.

"Why are you following me?"

Long pause and Alex was forcibly reacquainted with the feel   
of lean muscles jittering and straining against his own.   
The scent. But the eyes were... different. 

"What *is* it? What do you want, Mulder?"

A sudden, sunny, reckless smile and Alex had no idea why   
he'd believed there'd ever be any return to normalcy for   
the two of them. 

"You, Alex."

There was no normalcy. Alex backed off quickly. He felt   
burned.

"Mulder... I thought we decided--"

"You made me do some thinking." Mulder licked his lips   
nervously but his eyes were almost happy. He remained   
against the wall, but Alex could sense the tension of   
restrained movement just beneath the flesh. "You were   
right, Alex..."

Perfectly still but Alex couldn't keep his hand from   
creeping toward his gun. "Mulder--"

"I *do* chase everyone away. I'm just repeating the same   
stupid patterns -- Look, the jargon is meaningless--" He   
cut himself off and *then* he was in motion, one hand   
moving up and over Alex's cheek -- he flinched, but   
couldn't make himself back away from the touch -- into his   
hair. "I want you. I... I need you--"

"Mulder, please, you don't even *know* me--"

Mulder snaked his other arm around Alex's waist and pulled   
him too close. Too close. The hand in his hair was in   
constant motion and there was a long, long moment to   
realize they were both breathing much too hard, to   
comprehend the shameless heat below. "But you were trying   
so hard and giving me yourself, I see that now, and I'm   
sorry. You thought I wasn't paying attention, but I   
was..." The words were practically breathed into his mouth.

"Please, don't do this--"

And then Mulder kissed him, tongue slipping in with nothing   
but want and please and Alex thought he might be able to   
get away with pulling on that tongue, just a little, but   
Mulder moaned.... The sound was so harsh, so purely, rawly   
needful that Alex shuddered. And there was no chance to   
get away with this at all, anymore. The realization was a   
bare few heartbeats of freedom in which he could pull   
Mulder closer, run his hand down the spine in light   
caresses that made the other man writhe--

//Come home.

//Shit.//

Alex pulled away with a raw sound of distress, heart in his   
throat and throbbing. Mulder started after him but stopped,   
mercifully, when he shook his head. It was too hard to   
speak. Mulder bit his lip, hugged himself loosely.

"I was paying attention, I was taking your... I was taking   
everything you gave me and holding it, I swear. I just   
couldn't..." Mulder caught his eyes then and everything   
about the man's pose said things he wished he'd heard a few   
months ago. Weeks, even. "I was afraid, and I wanted you to   
hurt me so I could hurt you back. I'm empty now, Alex, and   
it's even worse than before because I know what it's like   
now. To have something to hold. I need you."

Alex couldn't stop himself from moving closer, but Mulder   
kept still this time, letting him make his own pace. "How   
long will it take you to hate me again, Mulder?"

"What... What do you mean?"

"For being here. Hearing that." Alex reached out, but   
Mulder's face twisted angrily and he pulled back. "See?"

Another twist and Mulder appeared to be visibly shaking it   
off. "I know, Alex, I know... It's hard to turn the lens on   
yourself..." Small smile and Mulder stepped forward again.   
Just a few feet of want away. "Please. I want to try."

Iron in his mouth and Alex had a moment of muted shock that   
he'd bitten through his lip. "You don't understand... I've   
got something... I've got something good now."

//Fuck, fuck, fuck...//

"And we were bad for each other."

"Mulder--"

The voice was resigned, darkly humorous. "No, it's all   
right. You're right. We were bad for each other. I was bad   
for us."

"It's not--"

"It *is*, Alex--"

"Dammit, let me talk for just a minute, all right?"

Mulder's teeth clicked shut and he rocked a bit on his   
heels before nodding. It was one of the more hideously   
painful things he'd ever had to watch.

"Walter..." A flinch. "Walter is good to me. He loves me   
and I... I love him."

"Alex--"

"Please, Mulder." His own voice was far too low. "I've   
fucked so many things up..." He couldn't help reaching out   
again, running his hand over the pale cheek, trying not to   
notice the circles under Mulder's eyes. "I've got a chance   
for something here, Mulder. Please. I don't want to fuck   
anything else up."

Mulder caught his hand and held it against his face.   
"Neither do I, Alex. There's so much ugly and wrong   
between us -- It can't already be too late."

Not really a question but far too close for comfort. "I...   
I can't, Mulder. I have to go. Let me go... please."

One last squeeze and Mulder released his hand and it hurt   
to pull it away, and it hurt to turn away, and it hurt to   
walk away. 

But it was time to go home.

~~~~  
End.


End file.
